All yall’s goldmines – they want to deplete you

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August 15, 2015

Lulu and the Bottle Border

I’m writing instructions for a friend to take care of the animals when I go out of town. I’m bringing the dog, but the cats and the chickens will remain behind. My housemate will be in the house – so the general stuff is fine, but I don’t really want to make him take care of the pets, so I’m having friends cover.

The girls: Chef Vordivask, Panther, Hawk, Skunk, and Bear.

The girls: Chef Vordivask, Hawk, Skunk, Panther, and Bear.

Because I think it might be fun to look back and see what my routine was at this point in my life, I figured I’d transcribe the note here. Let it serve as a warning/enticement should you ever decide to care for my animals for me…

Hawk the Chicken, aka: Mealworm Junkie.

An Ideal Day at Artichoke Inn & Gardens

Shaunee and ESP.

Sometime between sunrise & noon (earlier, rather than later, but no one will die if you linger in bed a bit.)

Lulu stretching.

-Let chickens out of coop

-Check feed & water (water is hanging in the coop from chains, and frequently the chicks kick up pine shavings into the reservoir. You might have to clean that out so they can drink. The container gets filled 2 times a week or so. The chicks will be off their starter feed by the time I leave, so they can all just get the chicken feed in the clear plastic container in the garage. Add some oyster shell to it if you refill and mix it up a bit.

Bear the Chicken

-Dump scraps from previous day into pen

-Leave chickens in pen (make sure to put something in front of the gate because if it’s open even a tiny bit, those brats WILL worm their way out into the yard.

Moon Flower Bud

-Feed cats (just about 1/2 cup full in each bowl, otherwise they eat a few bites and then lay there with the tips of their tails twitching while watching the birds and the neighbors dick cat eat the rest)

Tiny bean

Around noon-2 PM (sometime around the hottest point in the day)

-Gather eggs

-Bring ice or frozen fruitveggies to the chickens (you can put this in the dog bowl in the middle of the pen

-Feed cats (if necessary) (see above)

Morning Glory

Between 6 PM & Sundown

-Let chicks out of pen to roam yard

-Sit under tree and supervise roaming chicks to keep them out of the yard. Entice them to the non-garden end of the yard by shaking their treat bag and watching them come running. If they wanter into any of the gardens, hose them out! Go Full-on water cannon on their asses! Those scalliwags are always trying to get into the damn gardens!

Moon Garden: 8/14/2015

-Toss one handful of treats in three different directions so the big hens don’t bully all the little hens out of the way while they hog all of the treats to themselves (The hens, by the way, will still attempt to do this by running from pile to pile, so be as stealth as possible. I’ve found that feeding the smalls nearer to me keeps the hens away because they are chicken of me, and won’t get too close.)

-Give Hawk her special treat because she will not leave you alone until you do. She likes the mealworms, and HATES the raisins. Chef Vordivask loves the raisins. The rest of them just sort of pick through it all. Anyway, Hawk will sit in your lap and let you feed her one mealworm after another because she’s the smallest in the flock and everyone pushes her out…but she’s also the smartest in the flock, and she knows where her bread is buttered!

The Earth Give Birth

-Check food & water for chickens & cats

-Turn on sprinkler on the tiny lawn in the moon garden for 15-30 minutes. Every day, if possible.

Lulu

-Water beds every 2-3 days (map attached.)

Moon Garden – 8/8/2015

After sundown

-The chickens will all put themselves to sleep

-The big hens sleep in the doghouse and I don’t usually lock them in

-The 5 chicks sleep in the coop. The door folds like an accordion and is sometimes difficult to close. Just make sure there is no gap in the door, and if there is, put a cinder block up against it to make it secure. Be careful of little feet and wings when you close – sometimes those chickens are sneaky!