December 1 – One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

 

Stability.

I’m so thankful to have attained a degree of stability for myself and my family in 2010. Partially due to my hard work, partially due to luck, partially due to my community.

The last 10 years of my life have been pretty difficult. I never wanted to be a single parent. I never wanted to have a regular job – a career. I never wanted to have to worry about all of those things that adults worry about: mortgages, saving for college, mouths to feed, etc.

Having children really shifted my priorities, and just as I was adjusting to that shift – getting a divorce shifted them even further. These past 10 years have been difficult because I have been faced with the fact that even though I always felt like The Responsible One before – now I actually am forced to BE The Responsible One. With real people relying on me. Little people who can’t be expected to take responsibility for themselves. This realization coincided with me, for the first time ever in my life, being faced with immense difficulty providing for myself, much less these little people I brought into this world.

Thanks to family and friends and a fuck of a lot of very good fortune (not to mention a whole lot of unearned privileges…but that is an entirely other post altogether), 2010 is the year in which everything started to come together, and rather than losing ground or running to stand still, I have finally begun to really STABILIZE.

Who knew stability was desirable? I have always been an avid fan of chaos, but I’m finding there is a great deal to appreciate about knowing that I can pay my bills and feed my children and have some money and time left over to help a friend or start to pay forward all of the kindness that has been shown to me over my most difficult years. I am as thankful for the privilege of sharing as I am for the privilege of having. In the coming year, I look forward to sharing more.

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